The Olympics Are A Borefest & Need To Be Fixed

I’m going to be honest with you, I’m bored to death by the Olympics. Every four years the best athletes in the world come together and battle out for supremacy of their sport. Now, I’m well aware of what it takes to be an athlete and I’ll be honest – I never had it. I quit sports in high school, in my eyes, they weren’t fun anymore. For me, there was more to life than making a lay-up or a three-point shot and I wasn’t  going to let that dictate my happiness. Plus I knew there was no way I was going to make any money playing sports and due to my hatred for children, I wasn’t going to be coaching anytime soon – thus sealing my fate.

But I did had respect for my friends who strived to be the best at their sport and I’ve been lucky to watch some rise in the ranks and I understand why they did it. I think it’s great and I really do think everyone should have a passion in life. I mean, who am I to judge what makes you happy? Unless you’re one of those freaks who get off on getting their faces stomped by women in wearing stilettos – then you’re a freak.

So, before I digress anymore – let me get to my point. For the next few weeks we’ll be watching people attempt to qualify for a chance to compete for a medal. This I don’t get. Through out the year, there are always tournaments and championships and battles to see who is the best. Wouldn’t you think we’d know who they are by now and why do we the top 50 people in the world to compete, when you know 47 are going to be leaving empty-handed? By the way, you can save me from the whole, ‘But it’s all about good sportsmanship, MAN!’ act. Stop it! If it was, do you think Canadian Women’s hockey team would have beaten Slovakia 18-0? Please. They would have taken it easy on them and give them a chance to score ‘A’ goal.

So this is what I think the IOC should do. Have your tournaments and your championships or whatever and six months BEFORE the Olympics – you have one final battle royal and let’s say the top 10 make it into the Olympics. Then one preliminary round and then the top 5 gets to compete for a medal. Listen, if it works on Little Miss Perfect – I don’t see why it wouldn’t work during the Olympics.

Now I know there are some of you who are probably saying, “Oh that’s not fair!”. Well, guess what? Life isn’t fair. We’re not always going to get our way and there will ALWAYS be someone better at something than you. Please, if life was fair – I’d look like this:

Christina Hendricks is the epitome of sex.

And not like this:

You know you want it….

Believe me, I know life isn’t fair and I know we will be missing out on stories like the Jamaican bobsled team and all that warm and fuzzy nonsense. But, if you really want something – you’ll do whatever in your power to achieve that goal. Stricter rules would make for better competition and make sure only the best were competing. Case in point with the death of  Nodar Kumaritashvili. According to the FIL, this was a case of human error. It’s cruel statement to make and I understand accidents happen, but maybe they were right and it could have been prevented? I know it’s awful, but sometimes the truth hurts.

So hopefully the IOC will take my recommendation seriously and we’ll have less bs baggage in London. But like I said, what do I know?


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