Hockey East was well represented during the NCAA Hockey tourney and now after a long weekend, we’re down to our Frozen Four. I could talk about how there’s only one #1 team left and the big upsets. But no, I’m going to be a stupid girl and talk about two of the most attractive participants of the BU/UVM game that’s coming up.
You see, I’m kinda torn on who I should root for. [DOUCHE BAG EDIT] or UVM’s Viktor Stalberg. Both gentlemen are extremely talented and both are nominated for the Hobey Baker Memorial Award. Stahlberg was a runner up for Player of the Year, had 34 points in 27 games, ranked 5th nationally for goals and was Hockey East Player of the Month in January. While [DOUCHE BAG EDIT], who comes from a hockey family, scored 49 points this year, 35 assists and 16 multiple-point games.
But more importantly, they’re both disturbingly attractive and wouldn’t give me the time of day.
[DOUCHE BAG EDIT], has mastered the dead behind the eyes stare that has made the Kardashian girls famous and looks like every guy who would torture me in High School. The kind of guy, who wouldn’t only talk to me, unless he needed notes from a class they missed or there was a joke and I wasn’t in on it. Translation, if my life was the movie ‘Never Been Kissed’– I’d be Josie Gellar, he’d be Billy and I’d end up being pelted with eggs while wearing a shiny, puffysleeved, pink sparkly dress with a side pony tail while waiting for my prom date. I don’t know which scenario is worse – the being pelted with eggs part or the outfit.
Then there’s Viktor Stalberg or The Swedish as I like to call him – mainly because I like to say ‘Swedish‘ like Tom Green did in The Bum Bum Song. Look at him, he’s extremely, uncomfortably attractive and evidently is on the Tommy Boy plan – he’s 23 and a junior, but who gives a crap – look at him he’s stunning!
Stalberg is so attractive, that if we were in Bangkok and we met while backpacking around Thailand, I could see Viktor hooking up with me and having one of those whirlwind relationships – only to have him ask me to watch his bag while we waiting in line at the airport and he goes to the bathroom, at the exact time when the drug sniffing dogs come out and they ask me who the bag belongs to. I say I’m watching it for a friend and it has my name on the tags and low and behold – there’s 50 pounds of heroine in there. Cut to me in jail for the rest of my life for being a unknowing drug mule. But these are the risks one takes sometimes….
I could go on, but after hearing about the ‘dancing skills’ of one certain Terrier– I’m going to refrain and instead of making more of a jackass out of myself, I’m going to quit now – before I get really creepy. ha ha Frozen Four action starts on April 9th in D.C.