One Night Only! Colin Campbell Comes Boston

I'm a complete ass.

 So according to Eric Wilbur of the Boston Globe, NHL Head Disciplinarian, Colin Campbell, will be in town on Thursday to watch the Bruins take on the Pittsburgh Penguins. I’m sure Campbell intends on giving the lads a stern talking to about being good little hockey players and will later hunker down and will watch a 60 minute train wreck, like everyone is hoping for .  

Campbell has no one to blame but himself if someone gets hurt Thursday night. If he used that thing, that’s three feet from his ass and suspended Cooke when given the opportunity – I’m sure the calls for blood wouldn’t be as bad. Instead, there’s been talks about sitting Malkin, Crosby & Cooke for the game and it’s not fair for Cooke’s teammates to clean up the mess he made. 

I’m sure Campbell is going to pull Penguins coach, Dan Bylsma, aside and recommend he consider sitting the wonder twins for the night.  I mean, since it’s so close to the playoffs and after that rough game in Tampa Bay on Sunday(Hey Pittsburg, it sucks when it’s your guy, huh?) and let’s not forget they play the night before against the Devils – maybe it’s time for them to have a break. But if Bylsma is an honorable guy, he’ll put Cooke out there and Crosby & Malkin(providing neither are hurt) and keeps it business as usual.  

It’s been a week since Matt Cooke’s hit on Marc Savard and Bruins fans have been looking at this date like an expecting mother. When justice wasn’t served, that’s when it was crystal clear that the players were going to have to take the situation into their own hands and hopefully they do. But I’m not about to put money on it.  Would I be shocked if nothing happened and it was business as usual at the Garden? Nope, not at all. But it’s about time  the Bruins live up to their “big & bad” moniker. If I had my say,  Steve Begin would whispers “Prepare to die” in Matt Cooke’s ear in French, smile, kiss him on the cheek and then proceeds to gnaw off his face. But we don’t always get what we want.

 

Thanks to Puck Daddy for the heads up!

Olympic Hockey Recap: The Nobody Cares About Jarome Iginla Edition

“You like me! You really like me!”

After days of sitting through filler, all eyes are on men’s hockey in Vancouver and no matter how hard NBC tried to keep their viewing audience from watching the games, the viewing audience lucked out and caught a glimpse of what they can hopefully expect during the medal rounds.

Team USA kicked off the day by taking on the delegation from Switzerland. The Swiss team was anchored by Anaheim (Mighty) Duck goalie, Jonas Hiller. Prior to the Olympic break, Hiller posted a record of 5-2  and was having a little more success than Team USA’s goalie, Ryan Miller. The Buffalo Sabre, had recently hit the skids and was struggling as of late. Miller had only one win the month of February. But much like the playoffs, the Olympics are an entirely different.

The US were the first to strike 18:59 into the first period. Robert Ryan, not to be confused with Bobby Ryan of the Anaheim (Mighty) Ducks, scored the unassisted goal on his NHL teammate. The  Cherry Hill Giant will be holding his head a little bit higher today.

Bobby Ryan told reporters after yesterday’s win, “Once I scored, I was able to settle down and come back into my own a little bit.” US General manager, Brian Burke understood her team would be nervous and they had every right to be. “This is the big stage. This is Broadway.”

St. Louis Blue David Backes, scored 6 mins into the 2nd and that was followed up by Tampa Bay’s Ryan Malone’s power play goal half way through the second period. By the end of the 2nd period, the US was ahead 3-1 and were up 22 shots to Switzerland’s 15 shots.

Now, I don’t want to say the US mailed it in and didn’t give their 100% during the 3rd period, but they only had 2 shots on goal. TWO – count’em 1-2 shots on goal. It’s bad enough the US Women’s hockey team did it against Russia, but you’re there to win and you want to be intimidating. Enough of this sportsmanship crap. Kick some ass and show these other countries they can’t mess with the stars & bars. The US takes on Norway next.

The US’s next opponent lost last night to Canada in a shut out. Hometown hero, Roberto Luongo, blocked all 15 shots on goal. But the real star of the night was Jarome Iginla. The man who according to Sean Avery nobody cared about because he was too boring, captivated the crowd the with his hat trick – one of which came on the power play.

Dany Heatley followed up Iginla’s performance with 2 goals, Philadelphia’s Mike Richards(who Doc referred to as Washington Capital, Mike Green – Ouch! Burn!) and Ryan Getzlaf & Corey Perry of the (Mighty) Ducks each scored one. Canada’s #1 son, Sidney Crosby, had three assists for the night. Unlike, the US – Canada didn’t lay down in the 3rd period and led with 42 shots on goal. Canada takes on Switzerland on Thursday.

Finally the Russian Federation or Russia as I like to call them, beat Latvia 8-2. Washington Capital, Alex Ovechkin and AK Bars Kazan(not to be confused with the cinematic gem, Kazaam) Danis Zaripov each scored 2 goals. Evgeni Malkin of the Pittsburg Penguins and Ilya Kovalchuck of the Atlanta Thrasers New Jersey Devils each scored a goal and recorded an assist.  Russia hits the ice next on Thursday and takes on Slovakia in a game we probably won’t be able to see because NBC are ass hats.

If you’re looking to fill your hockey fix today: Finland takes on Belarus, Sweden plays Germany and the Czech Republic takes on Slovakia.

This is the end….

So that's it. The end is here. The Pittsburgh Penguins are now the Stanley Cup champs, the Detroit Red Wings are this year's bitter bridesmaids and Ovechkin is on probably on his way collecting some new hardware in Vegas for the NHL Awards. Woo! *fartnoise*

Was I happy with the turn out of the season? Yes & No. I mean, it's been a tough one for me. I had a chance to cover the Bruins, but because I wanted to be the first hockey blogger to talk about Roman War Helmets in a public forum, that opportunity was short lived. Am I still bitter? I won't lie, I am and it's a tad annoying that I still get emails about it on a daily basis. I guess there are worse things to be known for, right? I still wonder if I should have submitted the piece to Deadspin. But there's not much I can do now. Hey, at least I got you bitches. So that's something to be proud of. But I'm hoping one day, I'll be known for being more than just, according to WEEI's Joe Haggerty, as a habitual line stepper. 

But personal issues aside, back to the topic at hand – this year's hockey season. I wasn't happy with how everything ended for the Bruins and I know I'm going to come off as a homer and I should be "over it" - but Scott Walker got off light. He shouldn't have been playing and look what happened? Boom! OT goal, Bruins lose -  out of the playoffs. It wasn't supposed to be like that – they were supposed to go on and win The Cup. Well, that's what I had my money on. Not that I'm condoning illegal betting or anything like that. I already had the parade route mapped out in my head and a laundry list of excuses of why I was going to miss work that day. But instead of a summer learning what the members of the B's did with The Cup, we'll be focusing on whom staying, who's coming, who's going and how David Krejci's graham cracker hip is healing. Better luck next year, boys. But thanks for the ride. It was amazing while it lasted.

As for the Stanley Cup champs, I've has a weird relationship with them this season. The first game I was suppose to cover was a Pens game, but because I was 'accidently forgotten' & omitted from the press list, I didn't get to. At the time, I didn't lose too much sleep over it – I assumed I was going to get a chance to interview Geno, Superstar Talbot, Sid the Kid and the rest of the Pens later on in the season. But instead, I got fired and well, that never happened. Although, I would like to thank Puck Daddy for trying to make me feel better, by telling me I wasn't missing much by not talking to Sidney Crosby. I know I don't have the skills, like Cabbie Richards and I'm sure Crosby would have probably been as entertaining as a wet mop, but I still wanted to get the chance to speak to him. Haha Oh well.

But at the end of the day, I was glad they won. They desereved it and I'd rather see them win,than the Red Wings. By the way, it's nice to see their fans are taking this loss in stride and being classy about it. *rolls eyes*

So now what? The draft is coming up, but we already know where John Tarvares is more than likely going. The NHL releases next season's schedule at the end of July, so there's something to look forward to. I'm sure Phoenix Coyotes drama is far from over and it'll be interesting to see who does what in the off season. So now, all we can do is sit and wait for the next hockey season(or the next season of Project Runway whichever comes first.). As for me, I'll be here and look forward to a review of Alyssa Milano's baseball epic. Because I know you all are dying to know more about it and whether or not I kill myself before the 6th chapter. I figure, it can't be any worse than the bullshit you all read here.

I Will Destroy You.

Since everyone under the sun is giving their opinion on the Malkin issue – I've decided to hop on the bandwagon. For the first time, I actually agree with Colin Campbell's decision. If Evgeni Malkin did get suspended, it would have been a bullshit move considering Terminal Douche, Scott Walker, didn't get suspended for his sucker punch on Aaron Ward and look what happened? Walker turned into the hero of the Hurricanes for that series. Boo.

If anyone should be getting in trouble it should be Max(ine) Talbot for going after Osgood. If Talbot didn't, Henrik Zetterberg wouldn't have gone after Max and Geno wouldn't have gone after Zetterberg. When you break it all down, Geno is really the victim. Ok, so that's a stretch – but still, he was just defending a teammate, who he thought was being attacked. Which is exactly what Zetterberg was doing.

Geno will play on Tuesday, hopefully the Penguins will win and Cameron will be happy gal. It's not rocket science and I know it makes no sense. But why would the NHL start making sense now?